Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays to you all!

Hey everyone, it's Rachel this time. I thank my mother for posting updates for me the lest few journals. What would have taken me several hours to sit down and write, she could do for me in minutes. She really is a special person to me and I'm ever so greatful for her. Love ya Mom.

Hope everyone had a joyous holiday season, whether it be Christmas, Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or anything else. While I'm still suffering from whatever this is that the doctors are still unable to figure out, I'm holding on and fighting as best I can. Doctors are still pointing their fingers at migraines, but the only thing that contradicts a migraine is that this has been constant for me and I only get headaches -after- I have a seizure, never before. Also, when people say migraine, I assume that it's in the temple and front part of the head that hurts. My headaches are where the spine meets the skull. Yeah, the rest of my head hurts as well, but it hurts the worst there. My mother has tried to tell the doctors this, but none of them will listen. They keep pointing their fingers at anything that remotely sounds logical whether it's what I have or not. They don't have any more of an idea of what I have than what I do. Yet, when you mention anything about the H1N1 vaccine they clam up and try to change the subject as fast as possible.

After doing some researching into this actual H1N1 vaccine and the FluMist, I found some scary, scary stuff. If only the public knew about some of the scary stuff that this vaccine can cause... I'll share some of the sites I found and let you decide from there as to what you think. After reading all that I could, I'm 100% convinced that whatever this is is linked to the H1N1 vaccine. One thing that I found particularly interesting is that side effect symptomes can start showing up as little as 6 hours after the vaccine was given. I should shove that in the face of the doctors and tell them to stop lying to me. Anyway, here are some of the sites.

[link] - PDF file of the actual FluMist Information sheet. Pay attention to section 6.
[link] - A better breakdown of the PDF file. This persons' blog questions the vaccine like I do. Also points out the many contradictions the PDF file states.
[link] - One of the rarer syndromes that could be linked to the vaccine. Out of all the diseases linked, this one is the scariest as there is no known cure and is ultimately fatal. I match 95% of the symptoms listed.
[link] - A much more common disorder linked to the H1N1 vaccine, but does not exactly match my symptoms. I have a loss of motor skills, but I'm not paralyzed from it. Onset of this is days after the vaccine was given, where mine was just hours after I received it. Still possible, though.
[link] - An interesting Reddit post about someone's experience after receiving the H1N1 FluMist. Note the side effects start happening only hours after receiving it.
[link] - News article reporting that H1N1 vaccine has twice the side effects as seasonal flu vaccine.
[link] - Recall of October batch of the H1N1 vaccine due to a 500% increase in allergic reactions for it. Recall date was November 20th. I received my vaccination November 19th, a day before the recall.

As I stated above, I'm fighting this the best I physically can. I've taken a leave from work for awhile to allow my body to naturally heal as best it can, but even with as much rest as I've been getting, everything is still a challenge for me... but I'm not giving up the fight just yet. There are too many precious things to me in life to just give up all hope. After going back and reading more of the comments left on previous journals, it brought tears to my eyes knowing that there are so many people out there that care enough about me to take a moment of their time to pray, meditate, or just a silent thought. Thank you everyone so very much. Even with all that has been going on, this has been the best Christmas for me yet.

Here's hoping that everyone else enjoyed their holidays as much as I have, or at least tried to. Thanks again everyone. Much love to you all!

While whatever it is effecting me has been hindering my drawing ability, I am still trying to keep the spirit of my drawings alive. Most of what I scribble isn't really post worthy to me, but I will try to update now and again with a few drawings. I'm still working on some older drawings, so I'll try to have WIPs posted of them soon.

I'm opening up 10 slots right now to begin with for traditional medium commissions. I would say I'd include digital, but with my tremors right now it's easier for me to use a pencil. I'm only offering 2 types of commissions: black and white or color drawing/illustration. Prices are simple and cheap. Here are some examples and prices:

$10USD$20USD

I can gladly ship these out if your are wanting the original. Shipping within the US is free, international to any country is $3. I'm still accepting commissions of other types as well, but only these two types of drawing I'm offering this cheap. You can find my commission info here: [link]